What do I get out of it?

As a creative person, I am driven to make stuff. Most of the time, the stuff I create is just for me, something to scratch the itch. I am usually happy with my creations; most go unfinished, however. A lot of times, there are things I do to express an emotion or try out an idea, and once I have done that, I move on to the next thing (an expression of Attention deficit disorder). But it works for me. Creating things like writing, I need a little more, I need to share some things, and I want feedback on my ideas. Not that I am seeking attention, quite the opposite to be honest, I am very introverted (The pandemic was the best thing that ever happened to me, aside from all the death and dying stuff), and for the most part have to be poked and prodded to be social.

That’s where the paradox lies, where I am not looking for attention but want feedback on my creativity, but don’t want to have to be social about it. I am terrible about self-promotion. So, what do I get out of it? There is nothing better than hearing how a story I wrote made an impact on someone. If I frightened you, or made you think about a crazy idea I had, is a sense of fulfillment that is unequaled. When I write, I aspire to write something that will make the reader just think about my story a week or month later or even want to read it again.

I did get some very satisfying writing done this weekend. Wow, I am on Chapter 28 of Emergence Ascended, and I am really happy with it so far. As far as recording Emergence Collective, I had technical issues that prevented that from happening and that is disappointing. I am starting to feel confident, my narration skills are approaching “decent”, my editing is fair. Thanks for taking the time to read! Feel free to leave a like or comment, I enjoy the conversations! You can also email me at hello@hand-printsofdarkness.com

Character snapshot, Visual edition: Mark and Trina

It’s a character snapshot, but these two characters are equally important
together as they are apart, so I decided to lump the snapshot together. I
really enjoyed writing the relationship between these two. I really wanted to
express the kind of purity of love two people could share if they had the
freedom of innocence….

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Mark’s beat-up Honda fishtailed around the corner of the driveway and then
skidded to a stop in a cloud of dust in front of the longhouse. Trina had
a white-knuckle grip on the dashboard as if she was holding on for dear
life. “Why do you have to drive like a crazy person?” she shouted, but the look
on her face was one of excitement rather than terror.  “Umm, because
it’s fun?” he said with a chuckle. “Well, here we are. Let’s find the best
cabin before anyone else calls dibs.” 

“Yeah, good call,” she said as she got out of the car and stretched her
back. “This is a cool place,” she said as she looked around, taking in the
layout of the place. “But geez, namaste much?” Mark chuckled at that last
remark. “Yeah, he was the poster child for hippies, I guess. That’s
probably why my dad and Grandad pretended he didn’t exist.” “I think
you might be cut from the same cloth, honey, ya know? A long-hair dropout in a
family of lawyers and doctors. You’re not gonna get rich, but I love ya,”
she said softly. 

He walked over and put his hands on her tiny waist, and pulled her close to
him. “That’s how I know you love me. You’re not a gold digger. He
whispered in her ear, “That makes me richer than any of ’em.” 

“I think this place is making you mushy,” she whispered back. He moved
closer to her ear. “It’s also making me horny.” Then he playfully swatted her
butt. She pretended to be mad and started to push him away but grabbed his
hand and started pulling him to the cabins. “Let’s go find us a cabin, my
‘mushy’ man,” she said and winked at him. He dared not resist as she led
him down a random path. “These cabins are all in good condition. I was
imagining something like sleeping in a dirty barn,” Trina said as she
peered into the window of a pleasant-looking cabin. “I like this one, but I
want something, ya know, a little more private.” “Anything for you,
love,” he said, smiling. “Yeah, I think Uncle Frank had a lot of time on his
hands and kept the place up nicely.” 

They reached the end of the path at a cabin that seemed to be the farthest
from all the others. Mark walked up the few steps to the porch and opened
the door. “Should I carry you over the threshold?” Trina pushed past him
with a smirk. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, bucko,” she said
sarcastically. 

“Well then,” he said with an exaggerated bow, “after you, m’lady,” then
followed her in. 

Character snapshot, Visual edition: Frank

I’ve been playing with Artificial “Art” generators. Honestly, I am on the fence about how I feel about artificial content creation. While I am diametrically opposed to using AI to generate content on my blog or ANYTHING that I would put my name on as my own. But I do see value in using it as a tool to spark my own imagination. I feel AI art or other content can be used in the same way as writing prompts or thumbnail sketches to fine-tune an idea.

AI is a new and fun (sometimes frightening) technology that I am willing to explore. I wanted to know what it could do, so I decided to see how close it could get to my own internal visualization of my characters. I am also curious if you had a similar image in mind of my characters as you read my story.

The first thing I learned is AI art is NOT human art. (a relief, as a human, I don’t want to be deposed as an artist). There are things that it (in my experience) just can’t get right. Faces are number one. They are always a little “off,” a tad skewed, and more disproportionate than reality has to offer. And some of my descriptions go completely ignored no matter how I word them. (Again, proving that only a fool would rely on AI to make content that you would claim to be yours)

The image I described for Frank came out pretty close (but since Frank’s appearance and a few character traits are based on someone I actually know, it’s not perfect, of course, but it’s close enough).

An expert from “Emergence Collective.”

Still lost in his thoughts and even a little excited, he must have been
driving faster than he realized since he got to the hardware store in
quick time. It was good, though; the evening was going by fast, and the
store was about to close up for the night. He got out of his Volkswagen van
and pushed open the old door of the storefront. He only got a few steps
into the store when the cashier gave him an odd look. The young kid had spiky
black hair and a ring in his nose.

“Mister… you can’t come in here like that, sorry.” The young kid sounded
apologetic and amused at the same time.

“Like what?” Frank was oblivious to any reason why he should not be
there.

“Your feet, bro. You have to have shoes to come in; it’s a safety thing.
Might step on a nail and sue us or something.” A smile indicating laughter
was soon to follow was on the boy’s face by now.

Frank looked down at his feet and realized that he wasn’t wearing shoes. The
thick calluses on his perpetually dirty feet did not feel shoes in the
summer most of the time. He was an old hippy and stuck in a time warp.
Shoes were for winter when it was too cold to go without. He chuckled at
himself and smiled back at the cashier.

“Sorry,” Frank said with a bit of a giggle. He was not embarrassed by his
attire. Look at that kid; why should I be embarrassed by the way I dress?
he thought to himself, almost laughing out loud. Nonchalantly turning
around, he gave the cashier a nod goodbye and headed for the exit. He
only felt a little disgruntled by the situation since it was a wasted
trip. He did not have anything much to do anyway, but wasted gasoline was
wasted money.

In retrospect…

If you are an artist, you must know the urge to “fix” your work from the past. As your skills progress, you start to see the things that would have made your art just a little better. I mentioned in a previous post that I am particularly afflicted with this disease, so my solution is simply to avoid my past projects, instituting the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ law. Another one of my issues is that I have ADHD and was never diagnosed as a child and therefore had never been taught coping mechanisms (never got the drugs either that might have prevented many gray hairs on my mom) to mitigate it. I developed my own strategies simply to survive in a world where people thought an acted differently than me.

I mention that because those two things became apparent when I started recording Emergence collective. One, my ADHD-frazzled brain hastily finished the book and only gave it a glancing review (Admittedly, I never actually read the book from start to finish after its completion). The first chapter has always bothered me. I knew the story I wanted to tell, but I did not know how or where to start, so I jumped in.

As I started to narrate for the audible recording, I realized how horrible that first chapter is (I know I am not really selling you on the book, it actually gets better, it just started rough) and now that I need to rewrite is eating me up.

What is your opinion on rewrites? Should I pull the trigger on rewriting the first chapter and a few other tiny things here and there and release a “second edition”? Or should I just try not to cringe too much and let it go?

Challenge accepted!

In addition to my current work in progress, Emergence Ascended, I am always thinking about other stories. Just like when I was drawing a lot (I don’t do it enough these days), I would think about it, imagining the next part of the drawing, the lines I would use, or how I would shade something. Doing this when I wasn’t actually drawing was a mental exercise that kept my drawing skills fresh, and I was prepared for the next drawing session. So thinking about other stories while working on a particular one works for me in the same way, keeps my imagination working, and helps with my WIP (Work In Progress) even though it’s not the same story.

I have been trying to work out the details of a particularly complicated storyline. There is a point in the story that must be done right, or the whole thing won’t make sense. It’s one of the “reveal” moments that I (hope) intend to be the jaw-dropping revelation that makes the entire story interesting. I am being vague about it because I don’t want to spoil it for you. And I plan on blogging about it after the WIP is done. (By the way, if you know of or are a Paranormal investigator, please email me as I have some questions…..) wink wink…. 

Anyway, there is a brain-bending element that is integral to the entire plot of the story that my ADD/Dyslexic brain keeps going in circles about. It actually reminds me of these critical thinking games my friends, and I would play. These conundrums were fun and sometimes took days to sus out. For example …

“Its 3am, the doorbell rings and you wake up. Unexpected visitors! It’s your parents, and they are here for breakfast. You have strawberry jam, honey, wine, bread and cheese. What is the first thing you open?” 

This is a pretty simple one (to some, not all, don’t feel bad if you didn’t figure it out, it’s not an IQ test.)

The first thing you open is the door to let them in. But the point of these riddles was to make our brains bleed and think about unique or unexpected solutions; it was fun to do; the challenge was the point. Even more of a challenge is to think up the conundrum. Another thought exercise for me is to make a Haiku that is a palindrome. To be fair, I haven’t done it to my satisfaction yet. So challenge accepted, work out the conundrum of my plot, and make it bulletproof in its logic. Right now, I am close; I am on the cusp of getting it. There is that sensation that the answer is just out of reach but I can get there. MMm, my brain hurts so good.

Deleted scenes

I enjoyed a long weekend; the “labor day” holiday here in the US, it is a holiday for the workman. Because, well, we all deserve a day off, right? I spent a lot of time making stuff with my laser. Honestly trying to build inventory to sell at craft fairs and such.

MC escher

Book box

LOTR

I should have been writing. I am not sure if I am procrastinating or not. I have reached a part in the story that kind of has me stumped. Trying to weave two parts of the storyline together. This happened once before in Emergence collective. I had written a chapter that sort of painted me into a corner plot-wise. The chapter was That Barney, after discovering he had the power to control some aspects of reality, decided to trim some fat from his entourage (He is a military commander, and he had been in Eastern Washington investigating a strange anomaly with a detachment of troops) So he manifested a gun and killed them all. Needless to say, this sent the direction of the story in an awkward place, I had to go into why he did, and deal with the ramifications of that action. Honestly it changed the tone of the story a created plot problems that I could not resolve. Ultimately, I scrapped about 4 thousand words and re wrote it. (You should check it out if you haven’t read it!)

I am in a similar position now, where the story has taken off in a direction that I need to steer back into the direction I had originally intended. (For me the stories write themselves and I feel like a bystander most of the time) So I have been procrastinating, pretending to think about the story issues, but also enjoying a hobby. I love to make stuff. I know, I know, I should be writing.

Playing with laserz pew pew

So I dedicated this weekend to some laser projects. I decided to make a dice tower for Dungeons and dragons. A dice tower is a fun toy where you drop your dice in the top and it topples down and lands in the tray. The dice tower theme is one of my fav’s Chuthulu!

3mm black Acrylic

I am definitely going to make more of these. I had planned on putting it on my Etsy site, but a friend wanted it so bad that it was sold before the glue had dried. I am going to design some companion pieces, Dicebox and Dice Jail (where you put the dice that are not rolling the way you like… Bad dice, bad!) Oh and Yes I do custom laser engraving FYI 😉

Eat that Frog

One of my favorite Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens for those who know) quotes. “Eat a Live Frog Every Morning, and Nothing Worse Will Happen to You the Rest of the Day.” I am only mentioning this because its Monday. Monday is my frog, so after this, it’s all downhill. I had a relaxing weekend. Got some writing done, and I am getting excited about the story (Emergence Ascended) I spent some time working with my laser. Doing some fun side projects and managed to make 3 pendulum boards (Scrying boards). I upgraded my laser and I am very happy with it. My projects burn faster and I can do more with it. My next project it to burn some more Ouija boards, which usually sell (Etsy) out during the Halloween season so I am getting ahead of that, making sure I have the inventory to support demand.

I have another exciting bit of news, hopefully I will get the expected email today, and once that happens I will post all about it! Thank you for taking the time to visit! Don’t be shy, say hi in the comments!

Don’t follow me I am lost too.

Actually, do follow me, I could use the company. Being an introvert, I don’t have much use for social media. I never got the “thrill” of people “liking” or “Following” my social media profiles. Most of the stuff I post is really for my entertainment and I never really much cared if anyone else is entertained. I hope that they are, just not my priority. Now that I have to have a “presence”  I find that the likes and follows have meaning. But (I imagine) that its different from most peoples experiences.

I do enjoy gaining another follower, and seeing people enjoy my content and throw a like my way. But I get a fair amount of what to me is non-value-added likes and follows. I want people to be moved or entertained genuinely. If you like one of my posts, you actually took the time to read it and digest it find your own meaning in it. That is the thrill I get from it. I get a lo of likes a follows from marketing companies and sales, that are only there to get my attention, maybe use their service. I see no value in padding my numbers with followers and likes, that are not here for my content, just another potential client.

I wanted to take the time to acknowledge those that I see, are “active” on my blog. I see the likes and comments from some of you on a consistent basis. I sincerely appreciate your time, and spending it on my content.

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Take the time to check out their blogs! Thank you for visiting!

Totes!

Hand-printsofdarkness.com Tote baghttps://handprintsofdarkness.threadless.com/accessories/bag/tote-bag

Ever have a day where you have too much to hold on to with just your hands? maybe all of those 80’s classic horror VHS tapes and Philosophy books are too much to handle at once. You might need to sort a Tote bag!

this is the first rendition, I am not great at digital art. My photoshop skills were never developed. I tend to use analog media for my art. But I am pretty ok with this design. This will make much more sense (once I finish and publish) when you read the Sequel to “Emergence Collective,” “Emergence, Ascended.” I like “easter eggs” in books and games. shhhh………