art · Audible · Author · Emergence Collective · writing

In retrospect…

If you are an artist, you must know the urge to “fix” your work from the past. As your skills progress, you start to see the things that would have made your art just a little better. I mentioned in a previous post that I am particularly afflicted with this disease, so my solution is simply to avoid my past projects, instituting the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ law. Another one of my issues is that I have ADHD and was never diagnosed as a child and therefore had never been taught coping mechanisms (never got the drugs either that might have prevented many gray hairs on my mom) to mitigate it. I developed my own strategies simply to survive in a world where people thought an acted differently than me.

I mention that because those two things became apparent when I started recording Emergence collective. One, my ADHD-frazzled brain hastily finished the book and only gave it a glancing review (Admittedly, I never actually read the book from start to finish after its completion). The first chapter has always bothered me. I knew the story I wanted to tell, but I did not know how or where to start, so I jumped in.

As I started to narrate for the audible recording, I realized how horrible that first chapter is (I know I am not really selling you on the book, it actually gets better, it just started rough) and now that I need to rewrite is eating me up.

What is your opinion on rewrites? Should I pull the trigger on rewriting the first chapter and a few other tiny things here and there and release a “second edition”? Or should I just try not to cringe too much and let it go?

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art · Author · Emergence Ascended · writing

Challenge accepted!

In addition to my current work in progress, Emergence Ascended, I am always thinking about other stories. Just like when I was drawing a lot (I don’t do it enough these days), I would think about it, imagining the next part of the drawing, the lines I would use, or how I would shade something. Doing this when I wasn’t actually drawing was a mental exercise that kept my drawing skills fresh, and I was prepared for the next drawing session. So thinking about other stories while working on a particular one works for me in the same way, keeps my imagination working, and helps with my WIP (Work In Progress) even though it’s not the same story.

I have been trying to work out the details of a particularly complicated storyline. There is a point in the story that must be done right, or the whole thing won’t make sense. It’s one of the “reveal” moments that I (hope) intend to be the jaw-dropping revelation that makes the entire story interesting. I am being vague about it because I don’t want to spoil it for you. And I plan on blogging about it after the WIP is done. (By the way, if you know of or are a Paranormal investigator, please email me as I have some questions…..) wink wink…. 

Anyway, there is a brain-bending element that is integral to the entire plot of the story that my ADD/Dyslexic brain keeps going in circles about. It actually reminds me of these critical thinking games my friends, and I would play. These conundrums were fun and sometimes took days to sus out. For example …

“Its 3am, the doorbell rings and you wake up. Unexpected visitors! It’s your parents, and they are here for breakfast. You have strawberry jam, honey, wine, bread and cheese. What is the first thing you open?” 

This is a pretty simple one (to some, not all, don’t feel bad if you didn’t figure it out, it’s not an IQ test.)

The first thing you open is the door to let them in. But the point of these riddles was to make our brains bleed and think about unique or unexpected solutions; it was fun to do; the challenge was the point. Even more of a challenge is to think up the conundrum. Another thought exercise for me is to make a Haiku that is a palindrome. To be fair, I haven’t done it to my satisfaction yet. So challenge accepted, work out the conundrum of my plot, and make it bulletproof in its logic. Right now, I am close; I am on the cusp of getting it. There is that sensation that the answer is just out of reach but I can get there. MMm, my brain hurts so good.

art · Author · Emergence Collective · writing

Deleted scenes

I enjoyed a long weekend; the “labor day” holiday here in the US, it is a holiday for the workman. Because, well, we all deserve a day off, right? I spent a lot of time making stuff with my laser. Honestly trying to build inventory to sell at craft fairs and such.

MC escher
Book box

LOTR

I should have been writing. I am not sure if I am procrastinating or not. I have reached a part in the story that kind of has me stumped. Trying to weave two parts of the storyline together. This happened once before in Emergence collective. I had written a chapter that sort of painted me into a corner plot-wise. The chapter was That Barney, after discovering he had the power to control some aspects of reality, decided to trim some fat from his entourage (He is a military commander, and he had been in Eastern Washington investigating a strange anomaly with a detachment of troops) So he manifested a gun and killed them all. Needless to say, this sent the direction of the story in an awkward place, I had to go into why he did, and deal with the ramifications of that action. Honestly it changed the tone of the story a created plot problems that I could not resolve. Ultimately, I scrapped about 4 thousand words and re wrote it. (You should check it out if you haven’t read it!)

I am in a similar position now, where the story has taken off in a direction that I need to steer back into the direction I had originally intended. (For me the stories write themselves and I feel like a bystander most of the time) So I have been procrastinating, pretending to think about the story issues, but also enjoying a hobby. I love to make stuff. I know, I know, I should be writing.

art

Playing with laserz pew pew

So I dedicated this weekend to some laser projects. I decided to make a dice tower for Dungeons and dragons. A dice tower is a fun toy where you drop your dice in the top and it topples down and lands in the tray. The dice tower theme is one of my fav’s Chuthulu!

3mm black Acrylic

I am definitely going to make more of these. I had planned on putting it on my Etsy site, but a friend wanted it so bad that it was sold before the glue had dried. I am going to design some companion pieces, Dicebox and Dice Jail (where you put the dice that are not rolling the way you like… Bad dice, bad!) Oh and Yes I do custom laser engraving FYI 😉

art · Author · Emergence Ascended · magic · spiritualism · writing

Eat that Frog

One of my favorite Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens for those who know) quotes. “Eat a Live Frog Every Morning, and Nothing Worse Will Happen to You the Rest of the Day.” I am only mentioning this because its Monday. Monday is my frog, so after this, it’s all downhill. I had a relaxing weekend. Got some writing done, and I am getting excited about the story (Emergence Ascended) I spent some time working with my laser. Doing some fun side projects and managed to make 3 pendulum boards (Scrying boards). I upgraded my laser and I am very happy with it. My projects burn faster and I can do more with it. My next project it to burn some more Ouija boards, which usually sell (Etsy) out during the Halloween season so I am getting ahead of that, making sure I have the inventory to support demand.

I have another exciting bit of news, hopefully I will get the expected email today, and once that happens I will post all about it! Thank you for taking the time to visit! Don’t be shy, say hi in the comments!

about me · art · Author · Emergence Ascended · Emergence Collective · Horror · painting · poetry · writing

Don’t follow me I am lost too.

Actually, do follow me, I could use the company. Being an introvert, I don’t have much use for social media. I never got the “thrill” of people “liking” or “Following” my social media profiles. Most of the stuff I post is really for my entertainment and I never really much cared if anyone else is entertained. I hope that they are, just not my priority. Now that I have to have a “presence”  I find that the likes and follows have meaning. But (I imagine) that its different from most peoples experiences.

I do enjoy gaining another follower, and seeing people enjoy my content and throw a like my way. But I get a fair amount of what to me is non-value-added likes and follows. I want people to be moved or entertained genuinely. If you like one of my posts, you actually took the time to read it and digest it find your own meaning in it. That is the thrill I get from it. I get a lo of likes a follows from marketing companies and sales, that are only there to get my attention, maybe use their service. I see no value in padding my numbers with followers and likes, that are not here for my content, just another potential client.

I wanted to take the time to acknowledge those that I see, are “active” on my blog. I see the likes and comments from some of you on a consistent basis. I sincerely appreciate your time, and spending it on my content.

The Worlds Worst Writer (Maybe)

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Take the time to check out their blogs! Thank you for visiting!

art · Author · Emergence Ascended · Emergence Collective · Horror · writing

Totes!

Ever have a day where you have too much to hold on to with just your hands? maybe all of those 80’s classic horror VHS tapes and Philosophy books are too much to handle at once. You might need to sort a Tote bag!

this is the first rendition, I am not great at digital art. My photoshop skills were never developed. I tend to use analog media for my art. But I am pretty ok with this design. This will make much more sense (once I finish and publish) when you read the Sequel to “Emergence Collective,” “Emergence, Ascended.” I like “easter eggs” in books and games. shhhh………

art · Author · poetry · writing

Resource management.

On some days, our internet connection slows down, typically in the evenings. My family gets frustrated and starts getting angry at our service provider. I try to explain to them how bandwidth works in how we are at the end of the line. “Imagine a water pipe that is ‘this’ big around.” I make a circle with my hands about 4 inches around. “That’s how much internet we have access to. And, if no one else in our neighborhood is using it, we get it all. But now, imagine everyone in the neighborhood tapping into that pipe. The more people using it simultaneously, the amount we have access to at the end is ‘this much.'” I make a much smaller circle with my hands. This explanation, albeit a little clumsy, helps to illustrate why we have less bandwidth sometimes than others.

                It also is an excellent example of my creative resources. The bandwidth in my brain has been drained lately due to recent work-related stuff, and my concentration is dedicated almost solely to that. The trade-off is that there is no more room left for my creativity. The bandwidth has been used up. It has been a dog’s age since I wrote anything in Emergence, Ascended. And the last chapter I wrote, well, it’s crap.

After this work stuff is finished, I can get my head back into my stories again, that warm, happy place I live in, to forget all the Adulting

art · Author · Emergence Ascended · Horror · painting · poetry · writing

Happy Monday!

A new week begins, and I reflect on the last couple of weeks. It has been a busy one with work and home life. Just getting back into the routine of things. I took yesterday off from any creative endeavors  and did some chores that have been neglected (getting the garden ready for planting…a little late)

I had a great day of writing on Saturday, and that has renewed my vigor to keep pushing on!

Monday always has a way of bringing me to a weird place of optimism and pessimism. The optimistic side dwells in the possibility of escapism through stories and creativity. Back to the grind of work, I feel like Sisyphus, who was cursed to do meaningless duties ad infinitum, with the only escape being to dream of a life free from the burden of responsibility. Those dreams Are where I live. As the boulder rolls back to the bottom of the hill to restart the process, meaningless tasks, The only break from monotony (the weekend) is where I exist. Where I thrive.

about me · art · Emergence Ascended · Emergence Collective · Horror · painting · poetry · writing

Gray matter

Thick sticky gray gelatin oozed out of his ears and nose with a wisp of steam like smoke. The texture of the brain tissue had been slowly liquifying over the week as more and more information was funneled into the skull, like ten pounds of crap in a five-pound bag.

I am back at home and trying to normalize and get back into routine comfort. There is something sad about the idea that I couldn’t wait to get back to work just so I could have a  mental break. My training is done, and now I can get back to focusing on my writing and posting on the blog.

Today marks the second month of the blog. I hope that you are enjoying it as much as I am writing it. A big thank you to those that are following me! It does make a difference, knowing that I am not just shouting in an empty room. If you are new to this blog,  I started it to promote my book “Emergence Collective”  and other writings. It also is a platform to show off some of the other creative stuff. If you want a signed paperback copy, you can get that from my Etsy page. There are also some of the stuff that I make with my laser there, such as custom ouija boards, Crystal pendulum boards, and crystal grids, just to name a few. If you have a custom project in mind let me know and we can see what I can do for you. There are a few ways to contact me on my about me page.

Thanks for checking out the blog!