Audible update: Bonus edition

I decide to go ahead and do the commentary on my audiobook on Spotify. If you are interested in hearing me ramble on and attempt to share my ideas and feeling about “Emergence Collective,” there is the bonus episode now on Spotify, in addition to chapters 18 and 19.

As I look back, I can see how far I have grown as a writer in just the last year. (Ya know, when I actually started to get serious about it). Narrating the book has taught me so much more than I anticipated that it would, and to be honest, I didn’t think it would be any more than me reading aloud. But as I read, I see a lot that I can improve on, namely the overall structure. It hadn’t occurred to me when I was writing it, that my chapters are very short, (I don’t know if there are rules or anything concerning chapter length) but now I see that. The story still flows well and I am happy with the overall story. I think that “Emergence Ascended” is much more concise and smoother. the flow is better and I think I have a solid handle on the pacing. If you have read “Emergence Collective,” you should be getting excited about the sequel. I am nearing the end and I am getting excited (sort of) about the editing and final reviews. If you want to beta-read it, let me know!

In the meantime, check out the latest episodes on Spotify. Please comment/like or you can simply just say hi at Hello@hand-printsofdarkness.com Be sure to follow my Spotify page to get notified of the latest episodes!

Thanks for stopping by!

Afterglow

Glad that’s over. This blog is about my writing, so I try to not bring my work or home life into it (Boring, right?) But sometimes, it had a direct effect on my writing, so here it is. I had a very stressful week at work. I work in aerospace (Boeing, Space X, Blue Origin, etc…), and in aerospace, there are several governing agencies in place to ensure quality standards are maintained. Primarily the FAA and NADCAP. NADCAP is the National Aerospace and Defense Accreditation Program. This accreditation is very important; without it the shop would not be able to make parts. Anyway, after 3 days of diligent scrutiny, I have successfully passed the audit with barely a scratch.  It was a near-flawless outcome that entitles me to “Merit,” meaning that we are successful enough to get a six extension of our audit schedule. So I am basking in the afterglow of success!

What all this has to do with my writing is that I can now focus without the distractions of work. I am sure I am like most creatives in that if there is a lot of stress in the background, it interferes with creativity.  Other good work news is that I am rebuilding my staff to pre-pandemic levels and I do not have to take up the slack anymore. No more overtime and weekend work!  All that being said, I look forward to getting some writing in!

As far as my Audible recording project goes, there is a snag. Of course, as I mentioned before, I recorded the wrong chapter last week and had intended on recording the correct one on Sunday (chapter 13) and re-recording 14 because I had some weird sound quality stuff that I want to correct.  My son gave me his cold again. I could have recorded, but I wanted to spare the audience the sounds of my sneezing, coughing and other unfortunate vocal issues. Next week? That is my plan! Stay tuned. If you like listening to the story so far, but are eager to know what happens next, check out the book on Amazon!

Forgiveness

One of the things that I enjoy about writing it is the personal growth I get out of it. Since I started writing, I learned there is much more research than expected. As an autodidact, it’s in my wheelhouse, so there is a natural fit. Anyway, I get swept into some interesting research areas as I think about the plot, how the characters fit, and their motivations. (My search history makes me look like a pacifist that is making bombs)  

So Waxing philosophically, I am thinking about forgiveness. What it is to forgive, what it takes to be forgiving. Can forgiveness be a lie we tell ourselves? How does the act affect people? As it turns out, forgiveness (now that I am thinking about it) is more than just one thing. There are a lot of different ideas about different kinds of forgiveness, but I think it can be boiled down to two. Conditional and unconditional.

 But what is the real meaning of forgiveness?

Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

“Regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.” Ok, let’s explore that for a sec.

To me, on the face of it, that is a selfless and altruistic act. Kinda nice. But with all things tied to true altruism (I am a fan of the subject for some reason), intention is a significant element. Of course, there are circumstances to consider, but without blah blah blahing about hundreds of scenarios. Do they deserve your forgiveness? To me, putting a condition on it, such as “To deserve it,” goes against the altruistic aspect. And makes your intentions personal. A quasi-condition? Forgive if they ask for it? That is still conditional.

The “generally” defined meaning of forgiveness stated before summarizes the true altruistic spirit of forgiveness. Anything else is not.

As I examine these ideas for my character’s benefit, I think about my feelings on the subject. I always felt I was a pretty forgiving person, but I will lean heavier on the Altruistic intention of it.

PSA, I am not writing a self-help book nor am I a psychologist. These are just random thoughts to organize my brain and get the damned story finished 😉

Benchmarks.

It occurred to me that I had overlooked a benchmark on my writing journey. My one-year Blogsaverary was on February 18^th. I can not boast of having a large following or mind-blowing analytics,  but I have had a steadily increasing number. I have ninety-one subscribers, and that is a lot for me. I want to thank those of my ninety-one (was ninety-two yesterday); sorry if I bored you or said something offensive, Mr. Ninety-two.)) that is genuinely interested in what I have to say. You are the ones that keep me going. As to the rest of the follow me, follow you people, understand I don’t care about numbers, And I will not follow you because you followed me. Ridiculous. (I have a low opinion of such things) Anyway, Numbers don’t matter. You can have a thousand followers that don’t read the blog, but If the one that does read it finds meaning or insight or just entertainment from what I write, that is fulfilling to me.) But sincerely, thank you to those that have stuck with me. I have developed some great friendships through my blog, which makes it worth it.

I started this blog not really knowing about blogging, to be honest. After I finished my first book “Emergence collective,” it was suggested that I start a blog to promote it. So, I did. And here we are. I am not a blogger. I am a writer looking for an audience and engagement with that audience. Honestly, I am not a huge fan of being a blogger. I feel it creates an unnecessary responsibility to continuously create content to keep my blog alive, which was created to find an audience for my books and writing. Blogging is writing, I understand that, but I like to write fiction. Science fiction, horror, fantasy, the stuff that is not entangled with reality. However, I should recognize that despite frustrations, time restraints, and bouts of apathy, I have made it past the one-year Benchmark! *pats myself on the back*

Benchmarks are tools used for “ground truthing.” A benchmark is a survey marker used to verify or validate quantitative aerial observations (Maps). That is an apt metaphor for my blog and writing journey. I can see where I am and know where I want to go.

Another benchmark (a mental one) is closer to a feeling,  but I feel that I am on the downward side of the hill regarding my second book, “Emergence Ascended.” It’s a feeling since I really do not know how long this book is going to be, but I feel I am past the halfway point. The same reason why I have yet to have a mid-life crisis, I don’t know when I am going to die, so I don’t know when it’s my mid-life (I feel I am missing out on something fun now).

Thanks again for taking your valuable time to read my blog and comment. Your engagement is priceless to me. I am looking forward to more benchmarks to come.

Happy Ostara/Easter

Its a Holiday weekend, I am hoping it I can still get some writing and recording done before the festivities commence. But as we all know, when I make a plan, it goes to hell, so here is hoping. After I actually Finished the dreaded chapter 30, Of Emergence Ascended (my current work in progress), I feel like the rest of the book is going to go fast, and that is exciting. Then I get to edit! yay. editing.. yeah.

So, those of you that are eager to hear the next episode on Spotify, That is my focus for the weekend. Happy holidays for those that celebrate them and have a good weekend for those that don’t. Thanks for taking the time to check out my blog!

The act of creation itself is the point.

The soft buzzing and thumping on the window caught my attention. I watch the house fly repeatedly hurl itself toward the window, confident of its escape despite the uncounted attempts it has made before, but maybe the next one. I am amused at the fly’s confusion, oblivious to the nature of the impenetrable barrier that has prevented its passage to the outside world. Buzz, thump. Buzz, thump.

My amusement fades as I now sympathize with its plight and its frustrations as I similarly smash myself against the impenetrable barrier that is myself, my imagination. I hurl my words against the page one by one, only to realize that I am not getting anywhere, no progress to be made, but I, too, continue to assault the page unrelenting. Maybe the next word. The next paragraph.

I destroy everything and begin again, but I find a sense of calm in this destruction. Like a sand mandala, I recognize the impermanence of it and change my state of mind, allow the process to complete itself, and give in to it. Thump, buzz, another word.

Chapter 30. How many versions are there? How many more? Will the next word, sentence, or paragraph enlighten me to move on to its completion? Yes, and then, I will begin again until I am finished and at peace.

The truth is that I have written and rewritten several versions of chapter 30. Each one gets a little closer, but I have typed and deleted more words in this one chapter than anything I have written before. And the funny thing is that it is not one of the “important” chapters. It’s not a chapter that needs a special message, clue, or red herring. Even this post had more than one version. I started it, but it read like I was complaining or whiney about the lack of progress. I am not a fly that can not see the glass it smashes itself against. I know there is a way around it.

Go with the flow…

Another quick Saturday note(In the US, a quick nod to my “down under” audience}note. (I have noticed that when I post on weekends that there is less traffic overall, but eventually, someone will read it, right?) After having a bit of mild to moderate writer’s block, I managed to get back on track, and I am happy with the progress I am making. Chapter 28 and most of 29 of “Emergence Ascended” are down with a meager 38000 words. I estimate it’s just under half complete, but I am a discovery writer, so I don’t know where it will end, somewhere between Doctor Suese and Tolkien in length.

If you are one of those that are listening through my narration of “Emergence Collective” on Spotify, I expect to have chapters 10 and maybe 11 recorded tomorrow, so stay tuned for that! As always, thanks for stopping by. Give it a like or comment (I love comments!)

What do I get out of it?

As a creative person, I am driven to make stuff. Most of the time, the stuff I create is just for me, something to scratch the itch. I am usually happy with my creations; most go unfinished, however. A lot of times, there are things I do to express an emotion or try out an idea, and once I have done that, I move on to the next thing (an expression of Attention deficit disorder). But it works for me. Creating things like writing, I need a little more, I need to share some things, and I want feedback on my ideas. Not that I am seeking attention, quite the opposite to be honest, I am very introverted (The pandemic was the best thing that ever happened to me, aside from all the death and dying stuff), and for the most part have to be poked and prodded to be social.

That’s where the paradox lies, where I am not looking for attention but want feedback on my creativity, but don’t want to have to be social about it. I am terrible about self-promotion. So, what do I get out of it? There is nothing better than hearing how a story I wrote made an impact on someone. If I frightened you, or made you think about a crazy idea I had, is a sense of fulfillment that is unequaled. When I write, I aspire to write something that will make the reader just think about my story a week or month later or even want to read it again.

I did get some very satisfying writing done this weekend. Wow, I am on Chapter 28 of Emergence Ascended, and I am really happy with it so far. As far as recording Emergence Collective, I had technical issues that prevented that from happening and that is disappointing. I am starting to feel confident, my narration skills are approaching “decent”, my editing is fair. Thanks for taking the time to read! Feel free to leave a like or comment, I enjoy the conversations! You can also email me at hello@hand-printsofdarkness.com

Character snapshot,Visual edition: Barney Derrick

I really enjoyed writing Barney’s Character. I wanted to make a character that you love to hate. I am sure everyone has met a person like Barney.

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The sound of Barney’s boots echoed down the quiet hall with a hypnotic cadence. The overhead fluorescent lights seemed to flicker in time with his footfalls. He arrived at the lab and pushed through the door, causing it to bounce off the wall.   Drab faces looked up from computer screens at the abrupt entrance. A soldier rushed over with a handful of disheveled paperwork, trying to organize it into a manila folder before handing it off to his superior. Barney grabbed the folder out of his and studied the file briefly.  The soldier watched as he scrutinized the file, flipping pages, eyes scanning. Barney’s nose crinkled against his mustache, causing the soldier to wince.  He held the folder out for the soldier to take it, allowing the pages to slip out with a whoosh onto the floor.   

“What is this? Is this how I am going to get all of your reports? Is this how you show your respect to your country, to me?”   

“Sir! No Sir!”  

“This report is not even in order! Do you expect me to finish your work for you?”  

“I understand, Sir, no Sir, I apologize, Sir.”   

“Well–What are you waiting for?”  

“Umm …yes, sir,” the soldier said as he scrambled to collect all of the paperwork and organize it all at once.  

“Umm, yes, Sir? That’s how you address a superior officer? An umm? You Sure this is the right career for you, boy? How did you manage to crawl your sorry ass out of basic training?”  he scolded, then turned away so that he could smile without being seen. Ah that felt good, better than coffee, and I’ll never get a bad report from that kid again. He took a few steps before turning around to see the soldier standing at attention, holding the folder in his shaky hands.   

“Sir, your report is ready for your review Sir.” The Airman forced his words out.  

 Barney snatched it out of the soldier’s hands. Again, the soldier watched his eyes and fingers do their work.  “That’s better, Airman. You’re dismissed.” The young Airman made his way to his desk and sat down, all the while avoiding eye contact.   

Audible update

Chapter 7 is recorded. As a bonus I recorded a sneak peek episode of Emergence Ascended.

Check it out on Spotify!